It’s funny how often we’re boxed in, isn’t it? When I first started sharing my story, the immediate assumption from many was that I’d always been gay, that it was just a matter of time before I ‘came out.’ But for me, that narrative felt… incomplete. My journey wasn't about uncovering a hidden truth that was there all along; it was about a genuine, life-altering shift. Falling in love with a woman, after a lifetime of dating men, was a revelation that unfolded organically, right before my eyes.
My partner likes to joke that we were dating for months before I even realized it. And honestly? She’s not entirely wrong. The realization dawned on me gradually, a slow burn that eventually ignited into a full-blown love. When it finally hit me, the urge to share this new chapter with my closest friends and family was immediate and straightforward. It wasn't a grand, dramatic coming-out moment, but a simple declaration: 'I'm dating someone, and she's a woman.'
My mum’s reaction was pure gold. With a knowing smile, she said, 'And now you won’t have to take heck from any man again.' That sentiment, that unconditional acceptance, meant the world. It was so powerful to have her by my side, literally marching with me and my partner at Pride, even with the complexities of her position as a teacher in a school board that had recently voted against flying the Pride flag. Seeing her on TV, receiving hugs from colleagues who’d seen her support, that’s a memory that still brings tears to my eyes. Her quiet, persistent fight for queer rights within her community is something I deeply admire.
While my personal life felt relatively smooth sailing, the professional landscape, particularly within the fashion industry, presented a different kind of challenge. This is an industry I’ve always found to be incredibly creative and often liberating, a space where individuality is celebrated. Yet, as I began to embrace my identity as a queer woman, I found myself navigating a surprisingly heteronormative environment. The visibility of queer women in fashion felt, and often still feels, remarkably limited. It can be profoundly isolating to feel like you’re the only one in the room whose experiences are being overlooked or misunderstood.
I recall countless professional interactions where the question of having a boyfriend would inevitably arise, requiring a gentle, often tiring, explanation. This is why seeing figures like Cara Delevingne and Jenna Lyons share their journeys felt like such significant victories for queer female representation. Jenna’s story, in particular, resonated deeply – coming out later in life after falling for a woman, and unfortunately, being outed before she was ready to share on her own terms. It underscored the importance of owning one’s narrative.
Learning about other queer women in the fashion space, and seeing their successes, has instilled in me a sense of responsibility to share my own story. Founding Matte PR in 2016, representing incredible Canadian fashion brands, meant I was constantly coming out to new colleagues, clients, and collaborators. It was an exhausting, but ultimately necessary, part of building my professional life. The fashion world is evolving, and with it, the understanding and acceptance of diverse identities. It’s a journey, for sure, but one I’m proud to be a part of.
