We've all seen it, haven't we? The classic pornographic depiction of female masturbation: legs splayed impossibly wide, back arched like a drawn bow, and an orgasm that seems to arrive with the speed and intensity of a lightning strike. It's a visual that's become so ingrained, it's easy to assume it's the gold standard, the ultimate way to achieve pleasure. But here's a little secret, whispered from sex educators and shared by women who've dared to explore beyond the screen: that isn't always what works.
It turns out, much of what we see in mainstream adult entertainment is crafted more for the male gaze than for genuine female satisfaction. As sex educator Alix Fox points out, it's often choreographed to 'serve men: both those they’re having sex with, and those who are watching.' The focus is on display, not necessarily on maximizing pleasure. Ruby Rare, another sex educator, echoes this, noting the perpetuation of a trope where a woman is 'lying down with her legs as far wide as humanly possible.'
This realization can be quite liberating, especially when you consider how many of us learned about self-pleasure, or rather, didn't learn about it, in school. A significant survey found that a tiny percentage of British women received any information about sexual pleasure or masturbation during sex education. So, we've often been left to piece things together, and for many, that meant relying on the often-unrealistic portrayals in porn.
But what if there are other ways? Ways that might not look as 'cinematic' but feel infinitely better? The good news is, there are. When I started asking around, the responses were immediate and enthusiastic. One of the most popular, and perhaps surprising, positions that emerged was simply lying face down.
Face Down, Full Pleasure
This position, often described as being on your stomach, allows for a different kind of pressure and friction. One woman shared, 'My fave is on my stomach so I can put weight and pressure on my hands.' Another added, 'Face down is my favourite I think, the easiest to come from.' The added body weight can create a more intense sensation against the clitoris, leading to a more potent experience. It's so effective, in fact, that a scene in Netflix's 'Sex Education' featuring a character masturbating face down was met with a flood of positive feedback from viewers who found it refreshingly realistic and relatable.
On All Fours: A New Angle
Just as we change positions during partnered sex to explore different sensations, why not do the same when you're solo? Alix Fox suggests experimenting with getting on all fours, or even kneeling as if you were straddling a partner. This stance can activate your core and slightly tauten your pelvic area, which can significantly alter and enhance the sensations you feel. It's about finding what works for your body, not what looks good on screen.
Ultimately, the journey to discovering your most pleasurable masturbation positions is one of experimentation and self-discovery. It's about unlearning the habits influenced by external expectations and tuning into your own body's signals. So, next time you're exploring, consider stepping away from the familiar and embracing the possibilities that lie beyond the conventional.
