It’s a phrase we hear often, and it’s meant with the best intentions: “Thank you for your service.” For many veterans, this simple acknowledgment is appreciated. But sometimes, it can feel like a polite, yet distant, way to express gratitude, especially when the depth of their experiences remains largely unspoken.
Think about it. Many of us know a veteran – a family member, a neighbor, a colleague. Perhaps like Bradley Cannon, host of PsychEverywhere, you had a grandfather who served in World War II and Korea. He was a kind man, full of jokes, but he kept his military life very private. His family, unsure how to approach the topic, never really pushed him to share. This is a common scenario, and it highlights a desire many of us have: to connect more meaningfully with the veterans in our lives.
Dr. Steven R. Thorp, a distinguished professor and former director of mental health at the VA-San Diego healthcare system, sheds light on this. He notes that a significant portion of the population either are veterans or have close family ties to them. His own family history is steeped in military service, and he’s always deeply respected their contributions. Early in his career, working with veterans at the VA, he found them to be respectful of clinicians and genuinely appreciative of the mental health support offered. This experience, coupled with his specialization in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), has given him a unique perspective on supporting this community.
So, how can we move beyond the standard phrase to foster genuine connection? Dr. Thorp’s work, and the broader conversation around veteran support, suggests a few avenues:
Listening Without Pressure
One of the most powerful things we can do is simply be present and willing to listen, without the expectation that they must share. Just as Bradley’s grandfather kept his experiences private, many veterans may choose not to delve into the details of their service. The key is to create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing if and when they are ready. Sometimes, just knowing someone is there to listen, without judgment or expectation, can be incredibly validating.
Understanding the Nuances
It’s also helpful to be aware of common misconceptions about veterans. Dr. Thorp’s insights, shared on the PsychEverywhere podcast, aim to unpack these. Veterans are not a monolith; their experiences are diverse, and their needs vary. Approaching conversations with an open mind and a willingness to learn can make a significant difference. Instead of assuming, ask open-ended questions that invite conversation rather than demand disclosure.
Offering Specific Support
While a general thank you is kind, sometimes more specific acknowledgments can resonate. If you know a veteran’s branch of service or a general timeframe of their service, a more tailored comment can feel more personal. However, the most crucial element remains authenticity. If you’re unsure what to say, it’s okay to acknowledge that. A simple, heartfelt statement like, “I really appreciate your service, and I’m here if you ever want to talk about anything, no pressure,” can be more impactful than a rote phrase.
Remembering Their Well-being
It’s also vital to remember that veterans, like anyone, can face mental health challenges. The Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988, then press 1) offers confidential support 24/7. For those interested in learning more about supporting veterans, resources like CSPP’s Student Association for Military Psychology (SAMP) offer avenues for engagement and education.
Ultimately, connecting with veterans is about building relationships based on respect, understanding, and genuine care. It’s about recognizing their contributions not just as a service rendered, but as a part of their life story, and being a supportive presence in their ongoing journey.
