It’s funny how, as we get older, the things that used to feel like the pinnacle of fun can start to feel… well, a bit exhausting. For Alisha Ramos, this realization hit around her late twenties. The vibrant nightlife that once defined her social calendar began to feel less appealing, replaced by a quiet yearning for something more grounding: hosting friends for dinner, or simply getting lost in a good book.
This shift wasn't just a personal preference; it felt like a signal of a larger cultural current. Alisha sensed she wasn't alone in this desire to trade the frantic pace of 'fear of missing out' (FOMO) for the contented embrace of 'joy of missing out' (JOMO). And so, in 2017, a side project was born: the Girls' Night In newsletter. It was designed as a space for women who, like her, wanted to stay in but still feel connected, focusing on self-care, quality time, and the simple, profound act of nurturing friendships.
Today, Girls' Night In has blossomed into a thriving community, boasting hundreds of thousands of subscribers and followers, and a vibrant membership called 'the Lounge' that hosts everything from craft tutorials to book clubs. It’s a testament to tapping into a genuine need. But the story doesn't end there. Alisha's entrepreneurial spirit, fueled by this understanding of intentional living, led to the creation of Whiled, a brand dedicated to products specifically 'designed for downtime' – think beautifully crafted jigsaw puzzles, perfect for those quiet evenings.
A consistent thread weaving through all these ventures is the prioritization of well-being, relationships, and community, holding them in as high regard as professional achievements. Interestingly, Alisha herself is a bit wary of the term 'self-care.' She recalls being dubbed the 'queen of self-care' in an interview, a title that felt less empowering and more like an added pressure. "I think there's a lot of anxiety around self-care, which completely defeats the purpose," she muses. The idea that it must involve elaborate, hours-long rituals – baths, classical music, meditation – can be intimidating and, frankly, unrealistic for many.
For Alisha, the essence of self-care is far simpler: it's about checking in with yourself and engaging in restorative activities. This might mean stepping away from social media for a weekend, tending to a garden, or, as her newsletter 'Downtime' suggests, diving into a good book. Her approach is less about prescriptive rules and more about gentle self-forgiveness and realism.
This philosophy extends to how she manages her own packed schedule. Even as an entrepreneur launching multiple brands, getting married, and buying a house, Alisha makes downtime a non-negotiable priority. And here’s where it gets interesting: she uses her to-do list app, Todoist, to plan her leisure time. It might sound counterintuitive, but for Alisha, planning her downtime ensures it actually happens. It helps her avoid the mental load of remembering what she should be doing to relax, and crucially, prevents work from bleeding into her precious weekends. She creates specific projects within Todoist, like 'Weekend,' with sections for 'Self Care,' 'Friends,' 'Family,' and 'Gardening.'
Yet, this planning comes with a built-in flexibility. Alisha emphasizes that it's also perfectly okay to simply do nothing. The goal isn't to optimize every second of leisure, but to create space for genuine rest and rejuvenation, whatever that looks like on any given day. It’s about taking leisure as seriously as work, and recognizing that sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is simply be.
