Okay, so simile examples. Let me tell you – I once tried to explain these to my 8-year-old nephew during a chaotic family BBQ, and let’s just say it went about as smoothly as trying to grill steak in a hailstorm. (Spoiler: We ordered pizza.) But through teaching kids, writing DIY blog posts, and even crafting truly terrible dating app bios (cringes), I’ve learned a thing or two about making comparisons that actually stick.
Here’s the thing most people miss: A good simile isn’t just “like” or “as” – it’s a vivid shortcut to shared experience. My early attempts? Painfully generic. I’d write things like “busy as a bee” in gardening tutorials until a reader emailed me: “Do you think we’ve never seen a Target parking lot on Black Friday? Give us something real!” Ouch – but fair.
My lightbulb moment: The best similes smell like your life. That time I tried to assemble IKEA furniture after three coffees? “My hands shook like a Chihuahua at a fireworks show.” The feeling when my college jalopy finally died? “The engine coughed like a grandpa who chain-smokes Marlboros.” Suddenly, people related.
3 rules I live by now:
- Raid your junk drawer – Mundane > poetic. “The silence after our fight hung like that half-dead fern I keep forgetting to water.”
- Mash unexpected worlds – My best received simile compared burnout to “a Dunkin’ drive-thru espresso machine at 7:45 AM” (RIP baristas everywhere).
- Test drive it aloud – If your friend laughs/snorts/asks “Wait, really?”, you’ve won.
Watch out for:
- Overused food comparisons (“sweet as pie”) – unless you’re describing my attempt at keto brownies. (“Bitter as a Twitter feud” was my partner’s review.)
- Forcing pop culture references – Not everyone gets “chaotic as a White Claw-fueled TikTok dance challenge.”
Try this: Next time you’re stuck, describe your situation to Siri/Alexa like you’re complaining to a bartender. My Notes app has gems like “This meeting dragged on like a Microwaved Hot Pocket – somehow both endless and burnt.” Does it belong in Shakespeare? No. Will your coworker chuckle? Absolutely.
At the end of the day, similes are just fancy ways of saying “Hey, you feel this too, right?” So go eavesdrop at Walmart, steal phrases from your group texts, and embrace the glorious mess. (Pro tip: Keep a “simile graveyard” document. Mine includes “crisp as a new dollar bill” – tried it in a pancake recipe. Never again.) Now get out there and compare something to your weird aunt’s casserole. I believe in you.